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Always not feeling good enough

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Working every single night… Never feeling satisfied…

Bazanji – Never Told (2020)

Lately I have been, I have been working hard… but I am not satisfied. I feel like I am not good enough. Working hard. But still not good enough. Among my peers, graduating from the same school at roughly the same time, I am also behind. It seems that money comes easier with the stable paychecks. They got more like a “clock-in” “clock-out” schedule and money just arrives at their bank account on time every day. If they work over time, some companies would pay for the extra hours for them as well… with extra benefits like meal and traffic allowance. I know that this is not what I am looking for and I resigned from that stable job offer just about a year ago on my own volition, but sometimes I feel like what for. They been racking up cash faster than I do, they been making more money that I do.

And here I am, still seems to be figuring things out, still working hard every day to try to make things, building up this business, trying to do everything in the company, to stay afloat in the market. Still giving my all, betting my money, putting them on learning and creating things to make this business works.

It is like the business is my everything. I have nothing else. If the business goes well, I am happy. When the business is not good, I am crushed.

And people around me seem to have all figured out, and living a good life. You question yourself. You wonder if it is all worth it. This is just, hard.

But I guess I have to keep going and doing what I am doing. There is a famous saying about startups.

There are only 2 ways a startup could fail: (1) the founder quits; and (2) the company runs out of cash.

Let’s keep going.